Thursday June 13, 2013

Bundle of joy for dad

Wheel Power
By ANTHONY THANASAYAN

THERE is no greater joy for a man than this: to become a first-time father of a child. And the feeling of jubilation is heightened if you happen to be a disabled dad.

As Father’s Day approaches this Sunday, Jeyaraj Santraju is feeling on top of the world.

“After years of waiting for a child, God gave my wife and I, a beautiful baby boy last month – just in time for Father’s Day!” says Jeyaraj, 35, who resides in Rawang, Selangor.

Jeyaraj, a paraplegic, is married to 38-year-old Bavani who is non-disabled. The couple fell in love and married six years ago.

“Having little Phavickneyaraj in our lives elicited mixed feelings for me,” says Jeyaraj. “I feel extremely proud and happy to become a father. Yet, I’m a little nervous as to whether I can live up to my boy’s expectations and be a great father to him, with my wheelchair and all. Being a father comes with a huge responsibility.”

Jeyaraj was working as a technician in Singapore when he was involved in an industrial accident in 2006. The doctors told him that he would be bedridden for life, but he surprised them when he started sitting up in his bed and wheelchair within a week.

After three months, Jeyaraj was out of the rehabilitation centre and returned to Malaysia to start a new life.

Jeyaraj had been dating Bavani for two years prior to the accident, and he was faced with the nightmare of losing the love of his life. But the disability only made the couple’s love grow stronger for each other. They married a year later.

“I don’t know what a father’s love is because I grew up surrounded by my siblings and my mother,” admits Jeyaraj. “But I would like to bring my son up to accept people, despite their differences. I will be there for him in every situation, even though I am disabled. I can’t wait to see him crawl, utter his first words, and of course, I can’t wait to hear him call me ‘papa’.

“My wheelchair will not stop me from doing everything I can to be my boy’s hero in every sphere, where it involves play, studies or sports.”

Jeyaraj recalls the first time he gingerly picked up his little boy.

“He was so fragile. I was worried that I might drop him. I promised my wife that I would take turns to care for him at night,” shares Jeyaraj.

“I enjoy feeding him, changing his diapers and reading bedtime stories to him. All these chores require me to be extra careful in ensuring that my wheelchair locks are firmly in place.

“I know the day will come when Phavickneyaraj will pop the inevitable question that all wheelchair dads get asked: why are you in a wheelchair? When that happens, I believe I will have the right answer for my little boy.”

In the meantime, Jeyaraj’s wish for Father’s Day is that all local councils will change their mindsets about disabled people.

“Local councils should take steps to make the environment disabled-friendly. As a father who is a wheelchair-user, I would like to take my little boy to the playground, but I worry that it may not be accessible to wheelchairs. In fact, I have dreams of taking my son jungle-trekking, and participating in adventure sports when he is older.

“Becoming a parent is not the dream of the able-bodied only. They are very much the hopes of disabled persons, too, no matter what their handicapping conditions.”