Thursday December 23, 2010

Room for caring

Practising what you preach.

UNTIL I read the story of the nativity all over again recently, I never realised how much people with disabilities could relate to Christmas.

And it wasn’t until I went through each amazing account in the Bible that the hidden truth suddenly dawned on me – from the angel announcing the conception of the child to being turned away at the cramped inn and finally to the blessed birth in a humble manger.

Even baby Jesus – who is the reason for this glorious season – knew exactly what it felt like to be unwanted and have no place in society.

“No room at the inn” was what his distraught parents were told as they frantically looked for a place to birth him.

“No room”, “no access”, “no ramps” and “no disabled toilets” are common phrases Malaysians with physical handicaps still hear today.

And yet, many of us don’t even flinch a muscle when we stand up and declare that Malaysia is a caring society.

Some of these most uncaring and unfriendly buildings are, ironically, churches and other places of worship that are supposed to stand as pillars in a caring society.

Although they speak about the disabled and the elderly often, and preach to their congregation about the importance of “love” and “the need to think of others”, their actions and architecture often tell a totally different story.

I was talking to a member of the board of a local church only last week about adding a wheelchair ramp and a disabled-friendly toilet when her response took me by surprise.

“Oh ye of little faith,” she said, as if quoting a passage directly from the holy book.

“You don’t need to use a wheelchair. Just come to our church and we’ll pray over you and you will walk again.

“You’ll become one of us, and then there will be no need for ramps or disabled toilets, Hallelujah!”

Years ago, another lady who was an elder in the local church which I used to go to told me the same thing.

She was the epitome of health, and anyone who got sick rushed to see her so that she could pray over them. Even those with permanent disabilities and terminal illnesses sought her prayers as they believed they would be healed.

We eventually lost contact, but out of the blue, I got a call from her.

Speaking to me on the other end of the telephone line was a totally different person. I hardly recognised her.

Her voice was weak and frail. It was clear that she was also extremely depressed.

And then she made the most astonishing revelation.

She told me that she – now in her 60s – was a disabled person, too.

She was told by a doctor that she had Parkinson’s disease.

In fact, the medical specialist had told her that she had had the insidious condition for several years but she was not aware of it.

Her first reaction, she said, was to reject it. She prayed, fasted and even went to other faith healers to shake it off.

But nothing worked. Only medication could slow down the effects of the disease.

When she started using a wheelchair, she lost her independence and she had to be cared for by a maid.

She lost her job and eventually all her friends too.

She found it difficult to manoeuvre around in her church as it has no ramps or wheelchair access.

She had to hold on to her weak bladder until she got home because it has no toilet for the disabled. Several times, she had embarrassing “accidents” in public.

She told me that she now realised what a terrible mistake she had made. “I should have fought for people like you then in the council, but I never dreamt that something like this could happen to me.”

I couldn’t believe that the woman, who was once hostile towards me, had now become my friend – albeit over phone conversations late into the night.

She wanted to learn as much as she could about disability. I, too, learnt so much from her and how she was coping in life until she passed away, six months later.

Physical handicaps are only one aspect for a caring society to consider. The blind, deaf, people with learning disabilities and those with multiple handicaps also deserve attention.

Then, there are other conditions that are brought on by heart attacks, stroke, diabetes and old age.

Will we open our doors to all these people in our lives? And what would happen if we too find ourselves looking for room at the inn one day and being turned away?

Merry Christmas from Wheel Power!